As we arrive at the halfway point of Resolution’s Good Divorce Week 2025, David Anstee, Head of Family Law at KWW Solicitors of East Molesey, offers some thoughts on the divorce process and how it is best handled…

Divorce, even when mutually agreed, brings a tidal wave of emotions – anger, sadness, stress, and profound uncertainty about the future. This is completely natural.

But here at KWW Solicitors, we believe that while difficult emotions are inevitable, prolonged and costly conflict is not.

The approach of your family lawyer is the single greatest influence on whether those emotions are heightened and weaponised, or whether they are kept in check, allowing you to move forward constructively.

This is the art of the amicable divorce, and it is the guiding principle of our practice.

It’s easy to fall for the outdated movie cliché: the “good divorce lawyer” is the one who “goes to war” or “fights every case tooth and nail”. This perception, however, is deeply flawed and often leads to the worst outcomes for separating families.

At KWW, we are proud members of Resolution, a national community of family justice professionals committed to helping families resolve disputes in a constructive and amicable way. This commitment isn’t just a philosophy; it’s a strict Code of Practice that governs every piece of advice we give and every letter we write.

Our Commitment: The Resolution Code of Practice

For us, acting in your best interest means acting with integrity and objectivity, not aggression. The Resolution Code requires KWW members to:

• Reduce and manage conflict and confrontation, for instance, by avoiding inflammatory language
• Support and encourage families to put the best interests of any children first
• Help clients understand and manage the potential long-term financial and emotional consequences of decisions
• Act with honesty, integrity, and objectivity
• Use our experience and knowledge to guide clients through all the options available to them.

We take a step back and consider the long-term impact of a combative approach – and the evidence is overwhelming: it almost always derails negotiations.

The high cost of conflict: More than just money

When a divorce lawyer starts by drawing battle lines – sending an aggressive, criticism-steeped letter – it can give a vulnerable client a brief, fleeting sense of satisfaction. It feels like “fighting your corner”.

But that satisfaction is short-lived. A whirlwind of intense emotions and aggressive correspondence quickly spirals into costly, protracted, and often unnecessary family court litigation: financial proceedings, Children Act matters, and injunction applications.

The Litigious Trap

Family court proceedings come at a considerable financial and emotional cost:

Financial erosion: Expensive litigation eats into the very ‘pot’ of assets you are disputing, leaving less for both parties to rebuild their lives.

Emotional damage: Court processes are slow, stressful, and uncertain, often taking what seems like an eternity to finalise. Many litigants end up feeling entrenched and unwilling to compromise because they feel they have ‘come too far’.

Harm to children: The heightened acrimony that follows a hard-fought legal battle prevents separated parents from co-parenting effectively, exposing children to long-lasting emotional harm.

Ultimately, the best outcome for you is to resolve your disputes as swiftly as possible and with limited exposure to legal costs.

Clarity in a crisis

Divorcing clients are often emotionally vulnerable. What is truly helpful in that moment?

Is it a lawyer who acts as an echo chamber, validating every volatile feeling and encouraging you to act upon it?

Or is it a family lawyer who provides measured, non-emotive advice, focusing on facts, figures, and practical next steps to achieve a fair, workable solution?

At KWW Solicitors, myself and my colleague Georgia White are here to guide you away from the emotional storm and focus on the clear, navigable path forward.

While family court proceedings absolutely have a place when agreement is genuinely impossible, our primary goal – guided by the Resolution Code – is to avoid the litigious approach. We prioritise settling matters swiftly, minimising your costs, and securing a more positive and enduring foundation for your future life.

If you are considering divorce and seek a supportive, constructive, and resolution-focused legal partner, the KWW Solicitors team is here to help.

Important: This article provides general information and does not constitute legal advice. You should seek professional legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.